#Metoo

I was a late bloomer when it came to boys, relationships, all of that. The only thing that made me a late bloomer. The one thing I couldn't fight to try and be normal because with these things you banking on another person (and boys can be dumb) the one thing that made my mom cry at night because of the above is true.

I lost my virginity at 28. it was terrible and I wish people hadn't told me to wait for someone special or for it to mean something. I wish girls and boys were taught about sex the same way.

On top of losing my virginity he broke up with me the next day and I went into life changing mode so on top of moving I also had what I like to call a sexual awaking, I could do these things now and boy was I going to make up for lost time.

I dated a lot and went on terrible dates. Horrible make out sessions that tasted like ham and I was left laying cold in the sand on the beach and I thought that was the worst of it but he later punched a drunk guy. A guy that wanted to date me because I was "young looking" and so on and so forth.

We had a pool at my house and one time a guy came over to swim. Right away I wanted nothing to do with him and thought I made that pretty clear but apparently not. I hurried through the swim part and we headed back to my apartment to change. He kissed me horribly to the point where I would gag, He then laid on top of me and forced me to make out and was touching me and truth be told I don't even know if intercourse happened because I was just trying to push him off me. Now I am strong because of using canes to walk with, I pushed and asked him to stop and get off me. Nothing. I finally managed to grab the end of the mattress and was able to use that to pull myself out from under him where I ran into the bathroom and sobbed. I came out and he tried things some more. I finally got him out and locked the door, he wanted to come back in for a photo but I wasn't letting him back in.


I left for my friends Wedding weekend right after. I remember telling her about this horrible sex I had had and that was just it.....everyone I told just said it was bad sex, kind of like this. 


It wasn't until months later it hit me with what happened what this really really meant and I called my best friend crying.

I have had a lot of bad sex, a lot of it shouldn't have happened because I had put myself it a scary situation with a guy, with posting this I hope I can help someone in the future learn.

Something certainly needs to change and I am glad we're all taking about it.