Toxic

What I mean when I say "toxic monogamy culture"

• the normalization of jealousy as an indicator of love
• the idea that a sufficiently intense love is enough to overcome any practical incompatibilities
• the idea that you should meet your partner’s every need, and if you don’t, either you’re inadequate or they’re too needy
• the idea that a sufficiently intense love should cause you to cease to be attracted to anyone else
• the idea that commitment is synonymous with exclusivity
• the idea that marriage and children are the only valid teleological justifications for being committed to a relationship
• the idea that your insecurities are always your partner’s responsibility to tip-toe around and never your responsibility to work on
• the idea that your value to a partner is directly proportional to the amount of time and energy they spend on you, and it is in zero-sum competition with everything else they value in life
• the idea that being of value to a partner should always make up a large chunk of how you value yourself