Love is confusing

I got an e-mail from what my mom calls "the love of my life" I've blogged about him a lot.

Its confusing because everytime I tell myself I am over him I get this e-mail saying this like "I'm glad you applied with Disney agian kieep up with your dream" and "I want to come visit you"

So I guess now he is going to come visit me and I guess after that I will really know. Really know if my feeling are just holding onto my 1st love or if they are real? I know I might get my heart broken on this visit but I also know that no matter what happens he was always a great friend and I will feel lucky in the aspect.

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I was telling myself that I was over him. That I was just holding onto past feeling. That I wanted someone that Loved Disneyland and wasn't so far away!


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but I always come back to him. I still get butterflies at the thought of him. I still smile whenever he sends me a message.

I don't know. Its confusing. Someone is out there that is for me. I am tired of waiting but I will just keep on waiting. It would be nice if he was a lot like Marshel. Just saying.

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